I was having dinner and wine with a friend the other day, reminiscing about a time I felt compelled to choose between two men. Option A: a non conventional guy who liked me for me and who I shared some history with, or Option B: a charismatic church leader who I had strong feelings for but feared being dwarfed by. I said to my friend, "I don't know why, but at no point did it ever occur to me to choose Option C: neither. Option: wait and see what else it out there."
Maybe it's the comfort of being caught in a dichotomy. After all the world is full of them (good vs. evil, Democrat vs. Republican, Team Edward vs. Team Jacob!) But I started to think about how this mentality of feeling pressured to choose one or another option is so prevalent in my life. And so unnecessary.
Sometimes it is a question of location, should I stay or should I go now? Sometimes it's a question of men. Sometimes it's a job. Sometimes it's simply a question of what movie to watch.
My new theory is this: If Option A or Option B is not such a strong candidate that it no longer becomes a choice, but the obvious next step- DON'T CHOOSE IT. In fact, why do we do anything lackadaisically? I submit, for myself, Option C: Keep Exploring. This option does not mean that Option A or Option B are set aside. Simply, that one gives themselves permission not to make a choice until one option is obviously, passionately the right one.
The right man or woman, the right job, the right location, the right movie. I need to make Option C my default, autopilot choice. Join me?
Maybe it's the comfort of being caught in a dichotomy. After all the world is full of them (good vs. evil, Democrat vs. Republican, Team Edward vs. Team Jacob!) But I started to think about how this mentality of feeling pressured to choose one or another option is so prevalent in my life. And so unnecessary.
Sometimes it is a question of location, should I stay or should I go now? Sometimes it's a question of men. Sometimes it's a job. Sometimes it's simply a question of what movie to watch.
My new theory is this: If Option A or Option B is not such a strong candidate that it no longer becomes a choice, but the obvious next step- DON'T CHOOSE IT. In fact, why do we do anything lackadaisically? I submit, for myself, Option C: Keep Exploring. This option does not mean that Option A or Option B are set aside. Simply, that one gives themselves permission not to make a choice until one option is obviously, passionately the right one.
The right man or woman, the right job, the right location, the right movie. I need to make Option C my default, autopilot choice. Join me?